We’ve all participated in discussions where the topic associated with one spouse cheating another is being spoken about and recently I was in such a conversation with a good friend who was in fact telling me that she had caught her husband making calls to some adult sex lines, and how she was indeed so upset due to the fact that he was making use of her own bank card to pay for the conversations! “The only silver lining in all of this is that these were cut-rate phone sex chats” my friend ultimately mentioned concerning all those phonesex discussions he had been enjoying without her knowledge, as if the belief that he at least had the good sense to pick females who offered their intimate sex by phone expertise for cheap was to be enthused about! I asked if that was the main reason she was annoyed about, considering that, in the event that my own man was indeed sleaze-bag enjoying live one-to-one intimate conversations with other females, I suspect I may have become furious about the whole thing!

“Well” she finally said … “Not really. I mean at first I suppose I was, What i’m saying is he was contacting various other females to fulfill needs that I am obviously not fulfilling myself, but I concluded he wasn’t doing anything drastically wrong. He was contacting strangers he had not seen in his life, to act on fantasy impulses which i could possibly be uncomfortable with and I suppose that I did feel embarrassed, yet also understanding.

Wouldn’t you agree that when we go out with the girls sometimes, some of us get into more mischief than my dear husband does?”

Her answer really surprised me. It was totally unexpected and out of character. To think that this was the girl who waited until she was 18 to have her first kiss. Who thought we were too young when we had ours. And there she was, giving me a lesson in forgiveness and open mindedness. The way she had rationalized the event was so underwhelming, as if it was no big deal, after all, all he ever did was to talk dirty with women over the phone and I, more than anyone else, knew all about the power of suggestions and how words can be so enticing. “He is having an affair with a fantasy” she had said, and I couldn’t find any flaw in her reasoning.

“I have found my very own spouse looking at porn on numerous occasions” I told her, “therefore I can understand your point of view! Then again, I am certain I would not have make it possible for my spouse to walk freely from such a behavior though..”

I was about to go on with my very own attempt at rationalizing the behavior of our dear beloved when she interrupted me:

“Here is the thing… After I made him feel guilty for using my credit card without my authorization, I suggested that next time he was going to call one those lines, he should be doing when I was there, listening in… After all, if he was having fun on the side, shouldn’t I be included?”

That “floored me”! Literally knocked me off my seat! My oldest and dearest friend had just told me that. My sweet, lovely childhood friend who was always prude and proper. And now she was telling me that the idea of joining in with her husband and a third party was appealing to her!

“And…. Did you?” I at long last wanted to know.

“Yes…” She said. “And before you ask, yes, it was a lot of fun!”